It was 5am. I had just finished checking in my suitcases. Afraid of the long queue, I had arrived earlier than necessary. And now I have two hours til boarding time. Funny how many things I could've done in that short time before I fly home for Christmas. For instance, what I'd give to take a nap beside you instead of this carry on luggage that I have to sit on all the time. Or maybe we could've spent these 2 hours talking and cuddling, saying we'll miss each other and that we promise to call every once in a while.

Instead, I found myself a little corner in the coffee shop across Gate 1. I come here every year since it's the only smoking area in the building. But this time the steel table is colder than I remember, even the expensive coffee is no comfort in this chilly weather. I long to be next to you, arm draped across your chest. It is this time in the morning that I wake up shivering, but you were always there to cover me with the blanket. I cupped the coffee in my shaking hands, wishing I could bury them under a pillow while I snuggled in the crook of your shoulder.

I cannot really say how much I love you. I can only tell you how this flight feels like I'm leaving the only home I have ever known. I want to be where you are. You must be still sleeping in that half-empty bed. I want to wake you up on Christmas morning and cover you with tickles and kisses. I want to watch the fireworks on New Years Eve with you, under stars and smoke that take our picture constantly.

It's almost time for me to go. I wish you were here, too, so I can wrap my arms around you and not let go. I silently hum the Leaving on a Jetplane song... I picked up my bags and walked through Gate 7. Before entering the plane, I looked back and sent flying kisses to the wind so that it may touch your cheek and wake you so you can see me off.

Labels: rax